Friday 31 October 2014

Funny Jokes on Alok Nath



Q: Which car does Alok Nath drive? A: Sanskar

Alok Nath's talk show would be called "Aashirwad with Alok"


Alok Nath is someone who is worried about kanyadaan of a girl who is yet to be born..


The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life are Haridwar and Pariwar.


Alok Nath smokes agarbattis.


Alok Nath's idea of a music concert is a mata ka jagrata.


Alok Nath won the STAR Parivaar Award for Favourite Pita Bread.


Every Christmas, Alok Nath fills stockings with ashirvad.

Alok Nath collected all his savings and tried to purchase Rajesh khanna's bungalow as it is named 'Aashirwad'.


Aloknath had all the Senior Citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.

When Aloknath was born, Doctor gave him to his father and said, "Mubarak ho, beti ka baap hua hai".

Alok Nath cuts Mathura ke pede instead of cake on his birthday.

Alok Nath has never received salary, he always received pension


Thursday 30 October 2014

General Jokes in Hindi

रामू हर रोज नए जूते पहनकर काम करने जाता था।
रामू के मित्रों को रहा नहीं गया।
उन्होंने रामू को पूछा, यार रामू क्या तुमने जूते की दुकान
खोल रखी है जो रोज नए जूते पहनकर आते हो।
रामू हंसकर बोला, नहीं यार मेरे घर के सामने नया मंदिर बन गया है।


सुरेश - जब मेरी नई नई शादी हुई थी तो मुझे
मेरी बीवी इतनी प्यारी लगती थी कि
मन करता था खा जाऊं।
रमेश - और अब?
सुरेश - खा ही जाता तो अच्छा था।


पार्क के किनारे एक युवती को अकेला पाकर पप्पू हाथ में फूल लिए उसका पीछा कर रहे थे।
युवती- तुम्हे पता है! पीछे मेरी मां आ रही हैं?
पप्पू - अरे, हम तो खानदानी आशिक है।
तुम्हारी मां के पीछे मेरे पिताश्री आ रहे है।

सुरेश के घर 20 साल के बाद बच्चा हुआ,
उसे देख सुरेश बहुत उदास हो गया!
रमेश (सुरेश से)- यार उदास क्यों है?
सुरेश (रमेश से)- यार ! 20 साल बाद बच्चा हुआ वो भी इतना सा।

पति-इस जीवन से मैं तंग आ गया हूं! हे प्रभु मुझे उठा ले।
पत्नी- नहीं भगवान, मेरे पति से पहले मुझे उठा ले।
पति- हे प्रभु, मैं अब अपनी मर्जी को वापिस लेता हूं, तू इसकी ही सुन ले।

Tuesday 28 October 2014

Jokes on ministers of India


  1. Jawaharlal Nehru proved that a rich man can become the country's Prime Minister; Lal Bahadur Shastri proved that a poor man can become the Prime Minister; Indira Gandhi proved that a woman can become the Prime Minister; Morarji Desai proved that an old man can become the Prime Minister; Rajiv Gandhi proved that a young man can become the Prime Minister; I.K. Gujral proved that a gentleman can become the Prime Minister; Deve Gowda proved just about anybody can become the Prime Minister; Manmohan Singh has proved that India does not need a Prime Minister!
  2. Why did the Indian union minister made corruption of only 1 crore?

Ans: He was on a diet!


  • Mr . Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail .
Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out : ' Look at this letter ! It is addressed to
the stupidest man in Bihar '. His minister tried to calm him by saying :
' How dare a man address such a letter to you ? '. Mr. Laloo replied sadly :
' This does not bothers me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address.'



  • A piece entitled ' In praise of Laloo Yadav ' , says :
They have Hawala , We have Gowala ,
They have Hulla-Balloo , We have Laloo,
They have a Pouting P.M. , We have a Shouting C.M.,
They have a Beta , We have a Saala. 

The Wooden Doll - STORY FOR KIDS

THE wooden doll had no peace. My dears, if ever you are a doll, hope to be a rag doll, or a wax doll, or a doll full of sawdust apt to ooze out, or a china doll easy to break anything in the world rather than a good strong wooden doll with a painted head and movable joints, for that is indeed a sad thing to be. Many a time the poor wooden doll wished it were a tin train, or a box of soldiers, or a woolly lamb, or anything on earth rather than what it was. It never had any peace; it was taken up and put down at all manners of odd moments, made to go to bed when the children went to bed, to get up when they got up, be bathed when they were bathed, dressed when they were dressed, taken out in all weathers, stuffed into their satchels when they went to school, left about in corners, dropped on stairs, forgotten, neglected, bumped, banged, broken, glued together, anything and everything it suffered, until many a time it said sadly enough to its poor little self," I might as well be a human being at once and be done with it !" And then it fell to thinking about human beings; what strange creatures they were, always going about, though none carried them save when they were very little; always sleeping and waking, and eating and di inking, and laughing and crying, and talking and walking, and doing this and that and the other, never resting for long together, or seeming as if they could be still for even a single day." They are always making a noise," thought the wooden doll ; " they are always talking and walking about, always moving things and doing things, building up and pulling down, and making and unmaking forever and forever, and never are they quiet. It is lucky that we are not all human beings, or the world would be worn out in no time, and there would not be a corner left in which to rest a poor doll's head."

Wednesday 22 October 2014

Top 25 Rajnikanth Joke'S One Liners

Rajnikanth Doesn't need any introduction. He is a Superstar in Indian Film Industry. There are many jokes on him. Here is the list of top 25 one-liners.

1. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired
2. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land
3. In Rajnikanth's wedding, the fire took the saath phere of Rajnikanth and his wife
4. Rajinikanth has a statue of Madame Tussaud in his house!
5. Rajnikant is lovin' it! ' Macdonald's new tagline
6. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
7. The new symbol for the Rupee is actually Rajnikanth's Signature.
8. Rajnikanth can produce fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes
9. Rajnikanth doesn't answer nature's call nature answers Rajnikanth's call!
10. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.
11. Whenever Rajnikanth makes an error, it's an invention.
12. When Rajnikant switches on his AC without closing the door, winter starts in India.
13. Why did Superman and Batman visit Rajnikant? Because it was Teachers Day!
14. Rajnikanth can play the violin with a piano
15. Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
16. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.
17. If Rajinikanth's PC hangs.. it's time for next Windows release.
18. People update status via BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, etc. Rajinikanth updates status via Calculator
19. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look left and right before moving.
20. When God watched Robot, he said, 'Oh my Rajinikanth!
21. Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
22. Once Rajnikanth forgot his toys near Mumbai, that place is now known as Essel World.
23. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
24. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
25. When Rajnikanth logs on to facebook, facebook updates its status message!

Tuesday 21 October 2014

Sardaar ji jokes

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardarji: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardarji: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol..
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?


Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Monday 20 October 2014

Image Jokes



Jokes that make you laugh


  • A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?" The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."


  • The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?" The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"






  • Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"      

         Johnny: "Nothing, sir."  
         
          Principal: "Exactly!"



  • Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb "to ring?"
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.